A bit of a catch-up

Wow, I haven’t been here for ages. So here’s a breakdown of what’s been happening.

I’m doing work experience for extra benefit money (yay) at a place called Road Materials.

We supply things like hi-vis gear, wet-weather gear, hard hats, socks, some really random stuff… So I hope this will help get me a job, though I don’t think they’ll hire me at the end. As much as I like working there, and I’m pretty good at it, they don’t really need me. Until I get a job though, it’s a pretty good way to pass the time and my anxiety plays up less. Most of the time.

I started the Kemetic Orthodoxy (KO) beginner course to see what KO entailed properly. I’m not really big on organised religion, so I’m not sure where it will take me, but let’s see.

I’m about to buy the Wild Unknown tarot deck. It is gorgeous and I will need a lot of practice with it (read: I’m doing free readings).

I’ve been getting the urge to write many different stories, and have lots of characters creating themselves in my head without my permission. Also, I have the urge to read tarot for everyone but myself. I wondered about this briefly and had Djehuty flash through my mind (cackling a little). Thinking to myself “but what if that’s just everyone talking about Him getting to my head?” Then Ptah flashed through, so now I’m somewhat confused. And curious. He’s a creator so I guess writing makes some sense, but tarot? I guess we’ll see.

Had a discussion about monolatry with Josh, which I shall talk about later; it deserves its’ own post.

I guess that’s about it for now, that I can remember. And now that that’s done, I can post again ^__^

I might have created a matrix of stuff in astral-land I can’t tell. Also “finally!”

Last night I used meditation to try to get to the astral consciously. And it worked. As far as I can remember anyway.

Ok so I’m going to have to go into a bit of background here to be able to explain some thoughts I had; things I haven’t been posting because I didn’t know how to write them.

For a start, about a month ago, I was playing chess with Sutekh while I was in the shower. Yes, I know, that sounds weird to me too. It was like there was a screen in the top right corner of my vision. It was a red room, with a wooden table against one wall that held a black vase and some other things that I don’t remember. In the middle of the room was a chess table, or maybe a small table with a chess board on it, I can’t quite tell. I sat at one end of the table, across from Sutekh and it looks like we are in the middle of a game and I’m just thinking “wtf I’m trying to shower” He makes a move and I stand up, thinking, well if I’m in the astral, if I walk out the door, there will be something out there that I’ve never seen before. Logic, right? So I walk out of the room into a beautiful garden, with grass, some trees, there may or may not have been a white peacock, I can never fully trust my memory. And, of course, my head goes, ‘well even though I have never seen this before, maybe I just don’t remember seeing it on tv or whatever’. Just to piss myself off. My head is rarely satisfied with the conclusions it comes to. So after a while of repeating this with a few other doors, Sutekh just sort of planning his chess moves, I go and sit back down. He motions that it’s my move. We play for a bit before He says,

“You used to be a lot better at this.”

“What, at chess?”

“Being here, but yes, definitely that too.”

Well thanks… I wasn’t there for much longer after that, my flatmates baby was being too cute and demanded my attention.

From my exchange with Sutekh, questions started to arise. I’d never really thought about past lives or anything much before, but since I’ve never really been that good at chess, and I can barely get to the astral consciously, the only conclusion that I can draw from that small conversation (other than I’m crazy, and not in a good way) is that I have had at least one past life where I’ve been good at both.

So, back to my experience last night. I was dictating the songs I wanted on my meditation playlist, seeing as my bf was on the computer at the time, trying to finish his assignment. As we were finishing I got flashes of a picture of Djehuty. This was weird mostly because I haven’t had much to do with Him so far. I told my bf (you know what, lets just call him J) and he said, “well maybe He likes Mogwai?” as we had that playing at the time. Who knows…

So I started meditating. Everything was fine, I was very relaxed. Then I was somewhere else.

It looked kind of like the Matrix ,but instead of green numbers against a black background, there were… pictures? Images? Impressions? against a sort of clearish, bluish, non-existent background. I immediately knew what it was. How? I had a sort of flashback.

I was sitting cross-legged in a place that could only have been the astral. The place I mentioned above in fact, only without the impressions. Opposite me was a person, sitting the same way I was. We had decided to make a library of memories and advice and anything we could think of that would help anyone. What we did was take every fibre of our being, every memory of everything we had done, and push them out into this space, able to be accessed by anyone.

Obviously it had been added to since we had done this because as I stood there last night it was massive. The library stretched as far and high as I could see, which was quite far in that place. And there were people there. Some desperate, some simply browsing the memories put up by so many beings.

By the time I was finished there it was 4am and I can’t remember anything else that I did there. Bugger. If anyone else has been to this place I would really like to know, because as I mentioned, my brain is never satisfied with the conclusions it draws and it would be nice to know I’m not crazy or have some sort of weird creator complex or something…