Butting in…

OK, here’s what’s happening.

I’ve almost got this Kemetic thing down (and by that I mean I’m treading water rather than drowning now). Everything seems fine. And now Odin has shown up and demanded I pay him some attention. So now I’m finally using all the little things I bought for no (then)-apparent reason, like the raven earrings I bought and the valknut necklace I bought cause it looked cool (didn’t know what it was at the time). And I realize that He’s always been there, in the shadows, waiting for me to notice Him. Even when I was trying to focus on Kemeticism, I could never resist buying anything that had something to do with Him or Norse paganism in general.

And since I’ve let Odin, apparently Loki thinks He can butt in as well. I had a pretty vivid dream that, broken down, I’m pretty sure means He wants me to a) Feed him, and b) Write for him.

What is it with gods wanting me to write!? Seriously! That isn’t even your domain!!! Is it? I’ve never heard of it being Your domain… If anything that’s Odins domain. WTF Loki?!

Yeah man, muffins!

I made muffins. Yup. Muffins. For the gods. Who doesn’t like a muffin on their birthday, after all.

For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, my bf and I decided to celebrate Wep Ronpet this year. For those still confused, Wep Ronpet is the Egyptian New Year, the day that Sirius rises before the sun. The five days before this happens are the birthdays of five gods: Wesir (Osiris), Heru-wer (Horus), Sutekh (Set), Aset (Isis) and Nebt-het (Nephthys).

So yeah. Muffins. Ginger and cardamom muffins.

MUFFINS!!

Talking to Set.

My ‘godphone’ is very staticy. It doesn’t work so good. So I’ve decided to try to talk to Set through tarot, something that was talked about briefly on tumblr. The first thing I asked has gotten a large response. I asked “What are you trying to tell me that I’m not hearing?” The response:

1. Page of Wands (reversed). What I get from that (from 3 sources) News is coming from an unexpected source (I wasn’t sure I would get a response so maybe that’s this). Listen to your intuition and talk to people about experiences.
2. The Star (reversed). You are doubting, this is clouding your perception and slowing your growth.Trust yourself and reach out to others.
3. Knight of Wands. Come to conclusions on your own terms: be self confident. Take time to explore before spending time and money on new things (*looks bashful* I have bought things in the past before really exploring). Positive work message- I have recently asked for help with job hunting. Perhaps this means he will help me?
4. 2 of Cups. Things are going well. “Development of an important relationship”. I think he approves of my attempts to work with him.
5. The Devil. Discontent leads to stagnation. Don’t be so tied to material things that you neglect the spiritual.  Look deeper than the superficial. Perhaps he’s afraid I will be swayed by people who view Set as a ‘bad chaos god’?
6. Queen of Wands. I think here he’s telling me to be more outgoing and self confident. Again: talk to people
7. 7 of Swords. Everyone is allowed to have secrets, so don’t pry too much. You don’t need a leader to grow spiritually, go explore on your own.

So the bottom line of what Set is trying to tell me is: go talk to people, listen to your gut and explore and don’t get too material. Oh, and he likes the fact that I’m trying to communicate. This is good. Very reassuring.

I think I shall use this method of communication more often. It works rather well.

Interpreting dreams

Last night I had three dreams that I can remember. None of them were particularly nice. It just sort of make me wonder: “am I doing the right thing? A night of bad dreams right after starting on this new path?” I guess we’ll see, coz I’m not backing down yet.

In the first dream, I was walking with two people (guys?) along a dark road. And my teeth started falling out. I thought “oh shit it’s my worst nightmare come true” (teeth falling out is one of my recurring nightmares). I kept asking the guys “why is this happening? I don’t understand!” because I knew that they knew what was going on, but refused to tell me.

Cue second dream. I was in the minecraft world, in a huge cavern (a lot like the one I was in before going to bed). And then I was falling down to another level of the cavern. And there were a few shadowy figures standing scattered around the place. So what do I do? I go up to them one by one. As I approach, they turn to me, and they each have a scarily pink Set animals head with red bits hanging off it. This was some scary shit. I back off and start falling again into another level. This time, its full of ravens. Just kind of being there. Not really doing a whole lot. They seemed sad.

And the last dream. I was going to the mall to get some BK. I really wanted a burger. When my friend and I got there, the place was dark, and lit up only where we walked. It was empty because there was a gas leak/bomb threat. So I go to see if I can help with the gas leak. Fast forward a bit and somehow I find myself inside the gas cylinder, which had a small hole, and now a few slits so I could breathe. I kept asking the gas man to let me out, getting more panicked by the second, but all he would say is “you have to stay in there to fix it, only you can do it.”

So my interpretation (which I can do now that I have them in perspective) is that

 

1. Bad stuff is happening (or going to happen) (not sure about this one)
2. This is because I chose Set over Odin
3. I have to stick by my decision to fix my mistake

But would Odin really be upset that I’m choosing to focus on Set? Is it really a mistake? Because it doesn’t feel like it, not really.

I’ve never really tried to interpret dreams before, so if anyone has any other interpretation, I would love to hear it.

 

Am I doing it right?

I have decided to focus my energy on one thing at a time. In this context, I’m going to choose the thing that has been pulling at me the hardest, rather than trying to be two different things. I have decided to work with Kemeticism, or to be more precise: Set. Ever since I started reading one particular blog (that is about Kemeticism) I’ve been drawn to it, especially to Set (which the blog/post wasn’t really about at all).

To start my ‘relationship’ with Him, I made an offering of water and cheese (I was out of bread 😦 ) I don’t know whether He liked it or not though. I’m not very good at ‘hearing’ or seeing signs or anything. Gah. This is making me feel like I’m 14 again, when I started out with Wicca not knowing what the hell I was doing, but hoping I was doing it right.

How does one know if they’re doing it right?

Primary sources… Why are they so hard to read, even when translated?!

I’ve been reading the Poetic Edda on this website and wow it is hard reading! The words make sense on their own (mostly) but in a sentence? Nope. 

Does anyone know of a good, easy-to-read translation?

Changing the way you think

During a conversation with a lovely blogger, I have discovered a something about myself that bears writing down. Over the years I have always considered one of my core beliefs to be an ‘all life is sacred, harm none’ type of point of view. So of course when I found myself thinking (when my job was about to send me door knocking for a disability charity) “the only reason these people are alive is because the human race has developed so far that we don’t need them. Why don’t we just ‘Darwinism’?” I was a wee bit horrified at myself. Now don’t get me wrong here, I don’t actually believe they should all die. I don’t really care at all actually. Still bad, but not as horrifying. This starts making sense when I start thinking about the gods that have called to me.

The ones who first come knocking are usually the ‘dark’ gods, the ones associated with death and chaos. For example, a few years ago I was reading on the internet about Heimdall and Hel was mentioned as the guardian of the gate to the underworld. I barely skimmed over this section, looking for something else (I don’t remember what) but over the years the guardian of that gate has stuck with me, even though I only remembered her name a few days ago. I am also feeling rather drawn to Set right now, for more than the fact that he is a bringer of change. I’m not sure what that is yet, just a feeling.

Yes, life is sacred (why else would it be sacrificed?). Yes, I still believe that you shouldn’t harm anyone, simply because without consent, what human has the right? But looking back, I feel like I’ve been a bit “fluffy” (for want of a better word) in how I thought about it. I can’t think of any particular situation or example, but the feeling is there. I think it’s time to stop thinking that way.

EDIT: In no way do I think that the life of any disabled person does not matter. They matter just as much and sometimes more than any other living being. The random thought I had horrifies me as much as it does others. It was a weird moment and by no means stereotypical of my head.

Research binge

Over the past couple of days I’ve been on a research binge. The topics? Kemeticism and Norse heathenry. Mainly Odin. The result of this binge? Facts and ideas swirling around in my head and a desire to learn more. But with everything going “Whee!” I can’t quite concentrate. I have also come to the conclusion that I should sit down for a few days and just wait. ‘Sleep on it’, if you will. But I reeeeeeally want to be doing stuff. I have no idea what it is, but I want to be doing it. Now. It’s like an itch that I can’t quite reach to scratch.

*Frustration!*

My mini shrine

Pulled in different directions

Well, on attempting to re-prioritize my life I hit a roadblock. I’ve been having a bit of trouble lately ‘connecting’, for want of a better term, with my gods. At the same time I’ve felt two different paths calling to me, namely Kemeticism and Norse heathenry. I really want to follow my instincts here but feel guilty for even thinking about it because I’m not sure where my current gods (the distant ones) would fit in if I moved on to either of these paths, or both as some have suggested.

Maybe the reason they are a bit distant is because they no longer need me…