I’m not mad I swear…

Well, not much anyway. I was warned. I tried not to get mad. It mostly worked. I’m more exasperated than mad, really. Let me go back a bit here. I enjoyed Rick Riordans Percy Jackson series. It’s good entertainment if you’re after something light-hearted, but still interesting. So I thought that his Kane Chronicles would be similar. It’s set in the same universe. It’s good entertainment. But things about it bug me. I don’t mind the use of the gods Greek names. It makes sense; they are the names that they are well-known for. And yes, I’m sure liberties were taken with their personalities. It’s fiction, after all. The bit that bugs me, is the way he portrays Set. As far as I know (and I’m no expert so there are probably a gajillion inconsistencies) most of the gods are portrayed fairly accurately in their roles in Egyptian mythology, and there are many descriptions of each god. Except Set. He is portrayed only one way. Evil. I tried not to get mad. “It’s a generalisation, it’s for the purposes of the story-telling” right?  “Rick will show Set to have a more in-depth personality once the plot moves on from him as the bad guy”. Nope. Even after a whole book of Him not being the bad guy, the glossary of gods at the end has only three words describing Set: “God of evil”. NO. That is a ridiculous description. I might have accepted god of chaos (though that isn’t entirely true, His chaos is necessary). In fact, I would have accepted almost anything but ‘evil’. I’m just so frustrated with Riordan, he mustn’t have looked at how modern Kemetics viewed the gods (or if he did, it was a very select group) and he didn’t research earlier than when the Osiris cult demonized Set because he killed Osiris. Yeah, okay, not a good deed, but not an evil one either. If I remember rightly (and I may not be here, especially because I don’t even remember where I read this) it was necessary for Osiris to die, because he was the only one strong enough to rule the Duat. Or something like that. (I’m now pissed that I can’t remember)

But yeah. Long story short, I’m slightly mad at a piece of fiction for misrepresenting the god I work with most right now. So… Yeah. Rant over I guess.

Diving deeper

I have noticed over time that I have been slowly developing my path, deepening it (shock! horror!). I think a lot about Ma’at these days, and chaos, and how sometimes we think one is the other and how confusing life is. Like how something seems to be chaotic and awful and shitty, but really, in hindsight, it was what had to happen to pave the way for other things, and, in that sense, it was actually of Ma’at. I know I’m only a (very) baby Kemetic, and I doubt I will ever be orthodox, but I think I made the right choice here, choosing to focus on Sutekh (and by extension Kemeticism) rather than try to juggle two completely different pantheons. I’m not saying I will never work with any other god or pantheon, just not until I feel I have become… stable.

On another note, I really wish I could help people. I wish I had the experience to help people. Like if they had questions that I could answer about all sorts of things; Kemeticism, paganism in general, travelling, life. I want to help, but I either know that I don;t have the knowledge, or I’m not comfortable because I’m not sure. And if I offer help over the interwebs, like just being an ear to vent at, I feel like a creepy stalker person. I just hope that one day, I will be able to help people, like others have helped me.

I want to help, but I don’t know how 😦

Talking to Set.

My ‘godphone’ is very staticy. It doesn’t work so good. So I’ve decided to try to talk to Set through tarot, something that was talked about briefly on tumblr. The first thing I asked has gotten a large response. I asked “What are you trying to tell me that I’m not hearing?” The response:

1. Page of Wands (reversed). What I get from that (from 3 sources) News is coming from an unexpected source (I wasn’t sure I would get a response so maybe that’s this). Listen to your intuition and talk to people about experiences.
2. The Star (reversed). You are doubting, this is clouding your perception and slowing your growth.Trust yourself and reach out to others.
3. Knight of Wands. Come to conclusions on your own terms: be self confident. Take time to explore before spending time and money on new things (*looks bashful* I have bought things in the past before really exploring). Positive work message- I have recently asked for help with job hunting. Perhaps this means he will help me?
4. 2 of Cups. Things are going well. “Development of an important relationship”. I think he approves of my attempts to work with him.
5. The Devil. Discontent leads to stagnation. Don’t be so tied to material things that you neglect the spiritual.  Look deeper than the superficial. Perhaps he’s afraid I will be swayed by people who view Set as a ‘bad chaos god’?
6. Queen of Wands. I think here he’s telling me to be more outgoing and self confident. Again: talk to people
7. 7 of Swords. Everyone is allowed to have secrets, so don’t pry too much. You don’t need a leader to grow spiritually, go explore on your own.

So the bottom line of what Set is trying to tell me is: go talk to people, listen to your gut and explore and don’t get too material. Oh, and he likes the fact that I’m trying to communicate. This is good. Very reassuring.

I think I shall use this method of communication more often. It works rather well.

Pulled in different directions

Well, on attempting to re-prioritize my life I hit a roadblock. I’ve been having a bit of trouble lately ‘connecting’, for want of a better term, with my gods. At the same time I’ve felt two different paths calling to me, namely Kemeticism and Norse heathenry. I really want to follow my instincts here but feel guilty for even thinking about it because I’m not sure where my current gods (the distant ones) would fit in if I moved on to either of these paths, or both as some have suggested.

Maybe the reason they are a bit distant is because they no longer need me…